This morning on my way to work, while sitting in traffic I noticed a motorcycle zoom by the left side of my car. The guy on the motorcycle zoomed into the left lane and cut off a Toyota Camry. I held my breath when I saw how close this guy came to running into the Camry and even more so when this guy turns his body completely around only to flip off the driver of the Camry. This guy is an idiot. First of all, he was the one who cut the other person off, secondly, he was so into giving the other guy the finger that he didn't pay attention to the road ahead of him. He turned around just in time to gather himself and balance his bike in time to avoid slamming into the car in front of him. What a Schmo.
Speaking of Schmos, the other night while flipping through the channels, I stopped at the SPIKE channel, AKA: The first network for men. Hey, if there is a network for men, I want to see what shows are on it. I had flipped right in time for The Joe Schmo Show, The Reality T.V. show where nothing is real. The entire cast of the show are hired actors aside from one guy, Joe Schmo, who doesn't realize that nothing is real. There was so much drama and funny stunts, that were all an act and that everyone knew about except this one guy. Right before commercial breaks they would say, 'When will Joe Schmo realize that it's not real." It was the sadest and funniest thing I have ever seen.
On my drive home yesterday, I could barely see from the tears that were streaming down my face or from the gagging and coughing that I was doing. Before leaving the office yesterday, I grabbed a bag of chips for the long drive home. Luckily...I decided to grab a Snapple at the last minute too, just in case I got thirsty. So about half an hour into my drive, I started to get really really hungry, so I opened up the bag of chips. When I had grabbed these chips called, 'Death Rain', I went for the black bag that was labeled 'XXX HOT HABANERO'. XXX Habanero Shmabanero...I am a big fan of spicy food. Really...nothing is every spicy enough. I had had this brand of chips before and they had a little kick in them, but nothing that I couldn't handle. My stomach started growling like crazy, and I started munching on the chips. At first my nose started to itch, and then my throat started closing up. Next thing you know, I'm crying and saying "Ahhhhh" out loud to myself. But hey, I was really really hungry, so I continued to eat. I cried as I ate, and every time that I opened my mouth and took a breath, I would cough again from the remaining chili powder caught in my throat. Even though I was suffering and gasping for air, I was somewhat happy. I have finally found something spicy enough to bowl me over.
Woah....