Sunday, December 07, 2008

whatever you call it

Me: My foot really hurts.
Bertrand: Oh no, what happened? Did you slam it into something?
Me: I don't know. But my left toe really hurts.
Bertrand: Which toe?
Me: My um...thumb toe.
Bertrand: mean your big toe?
Me: Hmm. Yeah....

Wednesday, December 03, 2008


What does it feel like to have two little people moving around in your belly preparing to make their entry into the any moment?

It feels like just taking a normal average breath of air is like hiking Mount Everest.  It feels like every muscle in your body is mad at you for making it carry almost an extra half of your original body weight.  It feels like you are the biggest klutz because you can't gauge how far something is from you when trying to walk through a small hallway or opening (and then realizing that you no longer fit).  It feels like when you try really hard to stuff your entire wardrobe into that little carry-on.  You push and squish things into every little pocket, you sit on it, you get others to help you and just manage to get the lock closed...but you can tell it's just about to bust at its seams.  It feels like you just said something you really shouldn't have and the person next to you elbows you in the ribs...really hard.  It feels like you are a beached whale when you can't manage to roll over and get out of bed without some help from the one who got you into this situation in the first place.  It feels like everything is just out of the far and distant sink while you are brushing your teeth, and so you accept the fact that toothpaste and water will just get all over you.  It feels like no matter what you do, or how fast you think you are doing it, you are moving at a snails speed. Actually...I think I've seen a couple of those sluggies stick their tongues out at me as they zoomed past me.  It feels like you have two very distinct aliens in your body when you look down and your belly is lopsided, or a little body part sticks out like a head, foot or knee. feels amazing. I can't wait to meet these two little aliens.

Just when you feel like you couldn't possibly stretch anymore...your body surprises you and keeps on growing.