Teen / Tweens and Mobile Phones

It's been a minute...those babies I had? They're now teens and a tween (soon to also be a teen).  There are many challenges that come with raising teens like teaching them independence, being disciplined about their commitments, navigating around friendships...but one thing that is very different from when I was a teen is the mobile world we now live in.

When I was a teen, we were sending messages via pay phones to our friends pagers. 😳 Not sure what I'm saying? Ask your mom.  But our kids are now dealing with the added pressures of social media, group texting, and online video games.  They live in a world of added peer pressure that they're not quite equipped to handle.

As a parent, I wanted a way to teach them independence and how to make decisions around these additional pressures.  In addition to having many talks around these subjects, our family chose to take a gradual approach.  

In elementary school, we started them off with a connected watch where they could contact us and we could call or message them when we needed.  The contacts were restricted and the devices were harder to lose. It was a great starting step. When they moved on to middle school, we moved them up to a managed phone. This opened up the world of texting to them and phone cameras, but no browsers and no apps.  Even with that small step, we ran into a couple of hairy situations that we were able to use as a talking point in our family conversations.  And now,  as they're in their early teen years, we have moved to the bark phone.  

The bark phone is a managed Samsung A13 phone that looks like a normal non-kid phone so they don't feel embarrassed around their friends.  They have unlimited text and talk and more importantly, as a parent, I have the ability to set limits for whatever they are doing.  I love the flexibility and range that it provides.  I can now choose which apps show on their phones and set time limits or remove them altogether.

Feel free to ask any questions about our experience and use my bark referral code if you're looking for a great option for your tween / teen!

https://www.bark.us/signup?ref=RRXD2C9

stop. take a look around. enjoy the ride.

Lately, life has been crazy.  Both in good ways, and in bad.  But the recurring lesson I've been seeing and learning is to be thankful in the good times and the bad.  And that even when the bad seems like it can't get much worse and it's hard to see the light - you always come out of it.

The other day, we were marveling at our three children playing together and saying some pretty clever and witty things to each other.  I looked at Bertrand and asked him...6 years ago, did we ever think we would be here right now? No.  When I had an emergency C-section fearing for the lives of my babies...when we spent 2 weeks (not very long, but what felt like the longest 2 weeks of my life) in the NICU only able to hold the babies every few hours for only a few minutes...when the only way we could feed them was by holding their feeding tube...did we imagine ourselves here, playing dress-up, learning to read, helping with homework, breaking up fights - and with 3 kids in 19 months? Not at all.

And that's when it hit me.  That you need to take those moments and reflect.  Because only then can you see how far you've come - and it makes the bad times not seem so bad.

I've been feeling this lesson in my life over and over - in situations at work, with health, with friends and family, and in all those big life decisions.

We are still dealing with some scary things - but I know now more than ever, that God has a plan and that it is good.  Now to enjoy the ride.

your sister is so...

My 5 year old son is just starting to grasp all the relationships within our family.  A conversation he had with his uncle (my brother) over Christmas break that I will treasure forever:

Your mom and dad are my grandma and grandpa...
My mommy is your sister...
You are their son!
your sister is so....pretty